Snuggles and Hugs

We're still in Texas, thoroughly enjoying our Wayne and Phal and our grandchildren, Jeffrey, Michael and Catherine.

We came to Texas for Thanksgiving.  Part of the time was spent traveling between San Antonio and Houston, about 200 miles each way, but for a very pleasant purpose.  Four of our friends from China joined us for Thursday and Friday, and our Thanksgiving feast. Xu Hong Mei and Mao Mei, teachers from Xi'an, He Yan, a lovely student, and Li Tong, a guy with a Fender Les Paul Guitar.  

We toured San Antonio and the River Walk, and had a good time with them. 

I am not so sure all of our grandchildren are thoroughly enjoying us being here.  The boys have been exiled onto the futon in their dad's office so that grandma and grandpa would have beds.   One of the boys was overheard to say "I will sure be glad to have my bed back."  His comment caused me to have one of those weird memory flashes:  I remembered a song popular to young children that contains the line "I'm so glad when daddy comes home."  My mind immediately transposed that to "I'm so glad when granny goes home..."  Tomorrow they get their beds back.

One of the nicer of a very large number of nice experiences came last night.  I had just finished a game of Yahtzee with my son and Jeffrey, and was still sprawled across the floor, when Catherine came over to me and said "I want a snuggle," whereupon she sidled up against my side, laid her head on my chest, patted my prominent midsection, and settled comfortably in my arm.   I got a "happy hit" from that.  

I woke up this morning thinking about that experience, and others, involving human touching.

One of the warmest personal experiences I had in China was on the last day of our teaching assignment there, when we took pictures of me giving each student a hug.  I have looked at the resulting photos often.  Many of the hugs were "photo hugs" with appropriate mugging for the camera.   But there were a few that were "different."  

Specifically, I recall one student, who was well known on our 25000 student campus for a dramatic and very moving solo performance she gave of a girl begging her father for love.  The monologue contained references to alcoholism, physical and verbal abuse, and family suffering.   In the photo of our "hug" there is little that suggests a warm contact, though both of us were smiling.  Her body language was all about independence and personal strength.

Another girl, who had campus prominence  because of her  outgoing nature and great communication skills, seemed to literally melt into the hug, with warmth and comfort fully evident.    Even the few male students in the class participated,  with hugs becoming almost a contest of manliness.   One student in particular was an ardent Communist, and we would have long discussions about our political differences.  To me,  his hug on that last day was one of the warmest and most uniting of my China experience.   

There were none who refused to participate.

More recently, back in America,  I was talking to a boy of about 14, whom I thought I knew well. During our conversation, to make a point, I reached up (he was taller than I) to put my hand on his shoulder.  He quickly flinched away from me, with a look of irritability on his face.

I have since watched him.  I have never seen him touched by anyone, including members of his family.  

Before I was in college, some sociologists had done a study of orphan monkeys.  They had one group raised alone in a cage, while others had in their cage a rag doll, about the size of what a parent monkey would be.  The lone monkeys did not thrive physically.   Those with the surrogate, cuddled against the doll and developed into much more healthy specimens.  

A more recent study reported by a writer on Wikipedia, suggests that there are in fact positive chemical reactions in the body that result from human touch.   

I am, unabashedly, a toucher, have been most of my adult life.   Most of our friends or family members seem to expect a hug or two at a meeting or departure.  Less often, the touch is limited to a handshake or just a friendly smile, and that's ok too.

Oh, I got nice hugs from our Chinese friends when we dropped them off in Houston on Friday.

"

Lone Star Turkey

We're off today to Texas... San Antonio to be precise, to spend Thanksgiving with Wayne and his family.
In a probably ill-conceived act of vanity, we chose to fly from Salt Lake City to Houston, with a stopover in Minneapolis, Minnesota. You may wonder why. Well, we have visited 48 of the fifty states. Only Minnesota and Alaska remain to be seen. With apologies to anyone whose roots extend into Minnesota, we have found no compelling reason to make it a point of destination in our travels, but the vanity (the one I talked about last week) in me still wanted to be able to say: "been there." In order to stop over at Minneapolis, our final Texas destination had to be Houston, a 3 to 4 hour drive from San Antonio. But, I rationalized, this is a mini vacation, and besides, maybe I can get a few pictures of the hurricane devestation that hit that city. We'll see.

Houston will actually play another role in our little jaunt: Two of my students, He Yan and Li Tong, from Xi'an, China are studying at the University of Houston. We have invited them to join the family Thanksgiving Feast, which means a Thanksgiving morning drive to and from Houston to pick them up, They will spend the night. On Friday the whole family in two cars will take them,back to Houston. That's when we'll probably take pictures. Another of our friends from Xi'an, Xu Hong Mei, is studying with Wayne at the University of Texas, San Antonio. She will not only join us for turkey day, she will also house He Yan for the evening before our return to Houston. We will keep Li Tong at Waynes overnight.

There's a third, and really most important purpose for going to Waynes: Our granddaughter Catherine has recently celebrated her eighth birthday, and will be Baptised on the Saturday following Thanksgiving.

Family, Faith, Friends.... Lots to be thankful for.

Enjoy!

At the Beginning...

Who knows who reads this stuff?
When we were teaching in Xi'an China, I pretty well knew who read the postings we did at www.wrightclan.net, but that site, having been long neglected, is also long-forgotten.
So, with three kids now blogging with regularity, perhaps it is time to start up again.

Moments ago, my hand was resting by the keyboard of my laptop. My finger touched an object which stuck momentarily to my skin. As I lifted the finger, the object fell to the floor. It was a small black sheet metal screw, not more than 4 mm long. No such screw seem to be missing from the laptop. There was nothing else on the desk that apeared to have such a screw missing. It is likely that I will spend some amount of time today trying to figure out where that little screw belongs.

On the wall immediately to the right of my desk hangs a calendar featuring art by the LDS artist Greg Olsen. The November Photo depicts a late afternoon sky, Jesus sitting on a hillside, thoughtfully overlooking a mist shrouded Jerusalem. The title of the piece is "O Jerusalem" The scripture in Jeremiah continues: "... How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee?"

Now, the little screw and the calendar image are both kicking around in my head. Is the screw really important? Should I take (waste) time trying to solve this little mini-mystery? Is there not a better use for the "little grey matter" of the brain than this?

So, what are "vain thoughts?' Did Jesus not teach the second commandment is to "love thy neighbor as thyself?" Are we not then supposed to Love ourselves? I think the answer must be "yes." Shakespeare thought the same thing when he had Hamlet advise "to thine own self be true...for then thou canst not be false to any man." So thoughts of and about ourself must be a siginificant part of what we are. The grief Jesus expresses is for vain thoughts.

Mark Twain has done some writing that seem applicable. He talked of men who pray in public to bless the msssionaries, while in their hearts they "damn the missionaries and their money begging." Why do they do this? because their minds tell them others will commend them for their piety if they say the expected. Jesus talked of those who parade their offerings to the temple, who have the public's approval, and compared them to the widow, whose mite, humbly offered, is the greater eternal gift.

Charles Reacher penned a couplet which is both counsel and warning:
We sow a thought, we reap an action
We sow an action, we reap a habit
We sow a habit, we reap a way of life,
We sow a way of life, we reap an eternal destiny.

The law recognizes the importance of the mind in grading degrees of criminal conduct.
Malice is the product of an "evil and malignant heart"
One element of serious criminal conduct is "malice aforethought"
Conspiracy (planning a criminal act) is a serious crime of itself.

Scripture speaks of those who by rank in their community, in turn ascended a prayer platform and gave thanks that they were "not like the poor." Their acts were a prelude to abandoning the faith of their fathers.

Vain thoughts allow people to succumb to temptations....Sexual, financial, ethical...
"What if" is a powerful mental tool, for good or evil.
What if I sacrificed a meal out, and gave the money to help a family in another part of the world?
What if I bought another expensive lens instead of helping someone in need?
What if I don't list my true financial status in applying for a loan?

Perhaps there are better things to think about than the proper place for a 4 mm metal screw.
If it is important, I will find out soon enough, anyway.

----------

A brief calendar:
Nov 25- December 1: To Texas - Thanksgiving and Catherine's Baptism.
December 16 -20: To California - Early Christmas with Connie, Jim and Families
December 20-25: Christmas in Orem -With Jon and Annelise, and hopefully , Connie, Darrell and the Grand munchkins.
December 26 - Jan 4: To Mexico and Guatemala: Tour Mayan sites with Mark and Traci
Enjoy!